A friend of mine experienced something yesterday that I would never have wished upon my worst enemy. Her sweet baby of 5 months passed away while taking a nap. There are no known causes.
When I heard the news my heart immediately broke into a million pieces all over again. My chest heaved as I listened to the same Relief Society president who had carried me through my own loss, tell me of a dear sister's in our ward tragic story.
My immediate instinct was that I needed to be at her home and I needed to be there then. I got a babysitter for my children in my very messy house and left right away. As I pulled up to her home I recognized the cars parked out front and went inside.
The rest of the day I spent at the mommy's side talking, crying, and I must admit, angry most of the time. I was angry that this had to happen AGAIN to someone else. I was angry at the road that this sweet, righteous family had ahead of them. I wanted to take it from them so that they would not have to experience all the heart wrenching sorrow that I still have to go through.
And yet, that is not the plan is it? Would I trade all the knowledge that I now have because of my little angel? No.
Oh sweet Phoebe. What a blessing you have been in my life and yet I have never heard you laugh. I have never seen you smile, or even take a breath. You know you would be walking by now. You would have joined Emily and I today as we had our "girl party" while the boys are at Father and Son's camp out. I bet you would have giggled as I gave you a balloon from the restaurant we went to. But, you get balloons all the time, don't you?! I wonder how long this pink balloon we have in our house right now will last before Emily sends it up to you to play with.
From your life that has touched mine, do you know how many women I have been able to talk with? Would I have been able to receive promptings at 8:30 tonight to call this noble woman to tell her that she CAN do all that is required of her? I know, because I had no choice and neither does she.
But what we DO have is a Father in Heaven who weeps with us both as we mourn the loss of our precious daughters. I know without a doubt that Heavenly Father is VERY mindful of every need of that family. I know that he desires everything in his power to give every comfort, peace, and blessing he can. What an amazing ward family (our church congregation) we have. This dear lady had several women gathered around her all day yesterday. Our very astute bishop said from the beginning that this family should not be left alone. And she wasn't.
How grateful I am again, for the knowledge that we will see our girls again.
Please keep this family in your prayers. The need all they can.
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I have no words... I am glad you were able to be there with her. I will pray for them. And cry a bit for them...
ReplyDeleteAnd I cried a bit for you, too, about your girl's night. I am so glad you and Em have eachother! Phoebe will be going the party, but just a little later...
ReplyDeleteI have no idea what to say. You know me, not very often at a loss for words. I ached for you as I read this and I also thought what a beautiful and exceptional daughter of God you are. You are amazing Bec! How lucky this woman is to have you in her corner!
ReplyDeleteWOW...that is all I can think of. That is so sad, and yet you are right, it is the way it is suppose to be, even if it doesn't seem fair in any sort of way. It makes us angry, and frustrated, and incredibly sad, but He has a plan for us. I have really learned that over the past couple years, Heavenly Father has a plan for us, each and every one of us. And He LOVES each of us.
ReplyDeleteI've been thinking about it and I still have no words,
ReplyDeletejust love yous
no words here either becca. just a tremendous feeling of love and knowledge that everything happens for a reason...wouldn't it be so much easier if we knew what that reason was?...sure...but then what would we learn...what would we gain?
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