Say hello

Phoebe,

Will you do a favor for me?  Will you wrap your arms around Loreen Hoffman and say "Hello and a goodbye for now" from me?

I find myself with deep seeds of grief and sorrow for the Hoffman family as they grieve the loss of their mother and wife.  I remember how it feels to go to bed alone at night aching to hold you.  I remember the shock and that took an unmeasurable amount of time to realize that we were not to be together again for some time. 

I have gone back to the sleepless nights because my mind keeps racing of the way things were and how they have been forever changed. 

Phoebe, it hurts!  It hurts to lose someone you love.  Why can't I supersede this natural body and mind to know what it feels like where you are.  To know more of the eternal scheme and not be limited to this mortality.  I desire more than anything to know of the mysteries of God.  To behold His face in this life.  Not necessarily His physical face, but to know and understand that the infinite Being and Creator knows intimately what it feels like to be confined to a physical body with desires to know what is just beyond the veil. 

I get glimpses.  I touch heaven sometimes briefly with maybe a fingertip worth of understanding.  It feels so right to know things of the spirit.  When I allow myself to be still and know that He is God. I know that the Hoffman's are being blessed with all things temporal.  They are being blessed with help from those on your side.  Why then does my heart ache and my tears continue to come?  Why when I know of the great plan of salvation to know that we can be together again? 

So as I work through these emotions I ask that you don't leave my side.  That you will help with whatever is necessary to carry the Hoffman's.  Maybe we can work as a team.  I will keep trying to be worthy of the revelation that I seek.  It may not come in the form that I expect, but I have never been left comfortless. 

Thank you for being my ambassador on the other side.  I miss you.  I love you.

Forever yours,
Mom