Rebecca Phoebe was born silent on April 25, 2008. At the doctor's, I found no heartbeat and knew that while in labor, my angel was taken back. This blog is here for the benefit of me to write the tender things of my heart. It is also here for those that need to know they are not alone in whatever they have been called upon to bear.

If you are new to the blog, please start with " My Story".

Sunday, July 1, 2012

Firefly

 

One night I came home to  my sister's house where we are staying for the summer and I saw something that I haven't seen for many, many years.  Little explosions of light illuminating from the trees.  So quick, and so small were these little lights that it almost seemed like my eyes were playing tricks on me.  I stared in wonder and then ran down the hill to the backyard where the rest of my kids were already running around trying to catch a firefly.  I had one of those moments where I take a virtual picture in my mind.  A moment that I never want to forget.  I heard the squeals of delight and saw the wonder on the faces of my children.

As I watched them, I reflected on these fireflies.  How would I know that they were there if not for the impression of light that they gave?  If they didn't shine even briefly, I would never know of their presence.  

I have wished so many times, since the time I said my earthly goodbye, to just see her one more time.  To know that she is there and not just a far away memory.  And yet, I reflect on the small and impressive light that she continues to shine in my life and in others as well.  I know she is there but I can't always see her.  It's almost as if she is on the other side peeking through the veil whispering words of encouragement or of comfort giving me those small flecks of light. 

I am grateful for the experience(s) that my daughter has given me.  I feel more full of light because of what this whole process has taught me.  What a reunion it will be when I can have her in my arms again.  Until then, I will keep my eyes open for the little flashes of light that let me know she is close.