Partners?

My pregnancy with Phoebe didn't seem all that different than the one before.  Early contractions started around 27 weeks, a couple of weeks sooner than the others had started, but other than that, everything seemed okay.  I was determined to be the super woman mom and wife despite the setback of contractions.  I did not want to make any "walks of shame" away from the hospital when they send you home saying "drink more, and get rest".... I still exercised and even hosted Thanksgiving with over 20 people. 

I made a walk, not necessarily a walk of shame, but a walk in complete bewilderment.  Could I have done anything different to have changed the outcome?  Could I have slowed down or come in to the doctor more?  I have had enough witnesses to let me know that she was not mine to have in this life. 

And yet here I am, 27 weeks pregnant with her sister, and have already been to the hospital once.  Contractions started at 25 weeks this time.  This was my greatest fear when thinking about having another little one.  Are these little girls partners in trying to make me stronger?  Stronger in faith that there is a Father in control?  Stronger in the resolve to do all I can to hold a breathing baby again? 

Are they partners in heaven constantly watching over our struggling family, planning on how one will be helping on the other side of the veil while the other helps on the other?  Heaven knows I need all the help I can get!

One step at a time....