Family and Friends,
I can't believe we are coming up to the 6 month anniversary of when I last held my daughter. A lot of water has already gone under the bridge since then. I've had plenty of bad days when I felt like my heart was going to break into a million and one pieces and I've had plenty of good days when I felt my heart nearly burst with gratitude.
As I continue to heal from this unexpected turn in my life, I am continually reminded how much my Father in Heaven cares for me. I have been carried through several things where dear friends picked up the slack, yet I have been put back down on my feet and was expected to take a few steps into the dark just to show that I am still willing to do what I have to do to see my daughter again.
I have learned so much on this whirlwind of a journey and I know I will only learn more. I just hope I stay humble and teachable enough to truly learn what I need to so that I can become who I am supposed to be. Everything I am I owe to my Father in Heaven. The fact that I have 5 sweet beautiful breathing children is a miracle to me. It makes me want to squeeze them a little closer and breathe in the sweetness of their childish smells.
This blog is dedicated to the sweet baby that I held only briefly on a crisp April night. The night that one of the sweetest spirits I have met filled my aching heart to know that I was chosen to be the vessel to bring one of Heaven's choicest spirits to earth to receive an earthly body.
Phoebe has imprinted on countless lives with her short sojourn on this earth. May I stay righteous enough to be able to live with her forever someday is my hope and my prayer. I know this is possible because I have been sealed to her not just for time, but for ALL of eternity. Think of that. Eternity is a long time! This is because my husband and I were sealed in a holy temple in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints.
I have attached all of my journal entries that I wrote on my other blog. Please share this story with any who may benefit from my small light in the darkness.
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Thanks for making this page. I still cry about her. I love that families are FOREVER! Phoebe truely was a beautiful spirit but she left a hole in all our hearts that I don't think will ever be filled in this life. Keep posting here!
ReplyDeleteLove,
Uncle Matt
My sweet niece Phoebe, I didn't get a chance to meet her. Now through your words and thoughts about her I feel like I can catch a glimpse at what an undoubtably gentle, kind, and beautiful spirit she is. You let her live on, she's apart of all of us forever. Thank you for this, for your example, and thank you for her.
ReplyDeleteI am so glad that you have this blog for all of us to read. You truly are a wonderful example to me, I hope that I can have the faith and strength that you have one day. I feel so blessed to have been able to hold sweet little Phoebe, I will always remember that. Matt and I really did have a good cry when we read your blog the other day. We love you and ALL of your children. Thanks for being such a great example to so many people!
ReplyDeleteBub! I didn't know you made a Phoebe blog! How beaufifully written. I can't look at the pictures without crying. We so miss your beautiful little girl. Hugs and kisses to you, Bubbie..
ReplyDelete