A boy

Once there was this boy who swept me off my feet, snatched me up and married me, his, forever.  This boy and I had a boy together, and then another boy, and then another, until we finally received a sweet and sassy little girl.  Then we got another boy.  Because five was enough at the time, we wanted a little break between this one and the last.  But there were other plans.  We got surprised by a Girl. We got even more surprised by losing the girl. 

Well yesterday we had our ultrasound to find out what the next will be.  I am not a betting woman, but I would have bet money that this would be a Boy.  Is it because they come in force to my family already?  Is it because having another breathing little girl in my arms was too much to imagine again?  Maybe its because I know how precious daughters are and I needed to take extra special care of the one I was already blessed with.  I don't know.  All I do know is, it was not a boy at all.  We are going to have another chance to have a little girl.

The boy that swept me off my feet sat right next to my side as we watched in amazement the life on the screen.  He held my hand so tightly as we wept together at the prospect of being blessed to have another little girl in our arms.  I am so grateful for this boy that has been with me through every step of the journey.  

Boy or girl, each are special, and I am blessed to have both.

A day in the life...

I haven't updated in a while, partly because I have been so crazy busy that life hasn't allowed it.  As I reflect over the last month or so, I have thought about all of those times when angels must have attended.  When the youngest needed a friend because siblings were at school and mom needed to get stuff done, and then helped my children from making impulsive dangerous decisions when mom and dad aren't around to advise.

But what about the angels that have ministered to me?  I have a brother, and we've never met.  He seems to speak to my spirit, things that I would never be able to formulate into words, and yet he speaks words that sing from my soul.  His name is Jeffrey Holland.  And the best part?  He is an Apostle of the Lord.  He said this about angels:

"Usually such beings are not seen. Sometimes they are. But seen or unseen they are always near. Sometimes their assignments are very grand and have significance for the whole world. Sometimes the messages are more private. Occasionally the angelic purpose is to warn. But most often it is to comfort, to provide some form of merciful attention, guidance in difficult times."

 It's hard sometimes to think that I am worth the attention of heavenly help, and then I think of all that is required of me.  Why wouldn't I need that help?  I can't do it on my own.  I like to think that I have a personal angel.  It sounds cliche, especially when you hear all the time "Well, she's an angel in heaven", and then you break it down.  She is.  And she is mine.  I have felt that merciful attention.  I have felt that comfort.

And then, Elder Holland goes on to say something more that makes my chest get tight when I think about the angels that have ministered in the flesh.

"I have spoken here of heavenly help, of angels dispatched to bless us in time of need. But when we speak of those who are instruments in the hand of God, we are reminded that not all angels are from the other side of the veil. Some of them we walk with and talk with—here, now, every day. Some of them reside in our own neighborhoods."

What is it when you get a knowing glance or a squeeze on the shoulder that makes all your defenses go down?  When someone actually cares to not accept an, "I'm fine" but really makes sure that everything really is "fine".  To number the earthly angels that have come to my aid would be near impossible.  I can't help but feel loved.

The last quote:

“I will go before your face. I will be on your right hand and on your left, … my Spirit shall be in your [heart], and mine angels round about you, to bear you up.”D&C 84:88   In the process of praying for those angels to attend us, may we all try to be a little more angelic ourselves—with a kind word, a strong arm, a declaration of faith and “the covenant wherewith [we] have covenanted.”

I declare to you that God is a God of miracles.  The miracle was not in bringing my daughter back to life.  The miracle lies in how much love he has for me to put people in my path that change my life for good.  Rebecca Phoebe was one of those people for me.  Apostles, family, friends, and strangers alike have lifted me and provided miracles in my life.

I know that Sacrifice brings forth the blessings of heaven.  And I have a gorgeous blessing just on the other side. 

p.s.  If you would like to read the article in it's entirety, you can find it here:  The Ministry of Angels