A year later....

It has taken me a month to be able to write about Phoebe's anniversary. I must say that it was harder leading up to the anniversary than it was on the actual day.

The weather was a cold overcast and the day was promising to be busy. We got dressed in our family picture outfits and went to pick up the balloons for our 2nd annual balloon release. I couldn't help but appreciate the kids enthusiasm as we got the balloons and the breakfast to eat "with Phoebe".

I was in quiet thought most of the ride over as I contemplated life a year ago. My heart ached as I relived in my mind the shock and distress again. My heart lifted as I remembered the love and support.

When we got to the cemetery I looked for those pink popcorn trees that welcomed us last year. They were gone. My heart fell. I had been looking forward to this welcoming sight every year. Oh well.

As we arrived the kids piled out excited to get a hold of a balloon. Aaron ran around exactly like he did last year. Ammon and Tyler waited patiently. As we got ready, I was amazed at how well all the kids listened. They obediently waited until we said it was time to release the balloons. We only had one casualty. A balloon slipped away from Hyrum's hand who became quite sad. It was a good thing that Dad was prepared with another one.

As we let them go, you couldn't help but have emotion as you watched the white balloons and the solitary pink balloon float away. I am not sure why it is so moving to do that. I love being able to still give something tangible to my daughter. There wasn't a dry eye among the older ones!

While we were there, it was getting colder by the minute. We ate a quick breakfast, took a few more pictures and we were off to the rest of our day. Before we made it to the car, my eyes were caught by the pink blossoms I had looked for at the front. There was a beautiful little tree just beginning to bloom a few feet away from her grave. A tender mercy for my tender heart.

I was carried once again.